Game of Thrones – Season 2 Episode 4 – Garden of Bones – Review

Game of Thrones continues it’s epic run on HBO. Robb Stark fights the Lannister Army in the North. Baelish visits Renly Baratheon and Catelyn Stark. Danaerys arrives at the Garden of Bones. Arya and Genry arrive in Harrenhal. Tyrion schemes. Joffrey is nuts. And Melisandre pops!

My review of Episode 4 ‘Garden of Bones’:

The North

The episode opens with Lannister army soldiers talking about the war. They ridicule Renly’s relationship with Loras.

“He’s been stabbing Renly Baratheon for years and Renly aint dead.”

Then they hear something in the darkness. It is Robb Stark’s direwolf Grey Wind. They have been ambushed in the night.

At dawn we see the carnage that was inflicted on the Lannister army by Robb Stark’s men: 5 dead for every Northern soldier. Robb discusses torturing some officers for information with Roose Bolton who is for it. But Robb is aprehensive.

Then there is a gruesome scene where one of the Lannister nurses saws off the leg of one of the men. Robb helps to hold down the guy. OMG that was not for the faint of heart. The nurse’s name is Talisa from Valantis. She gives Robb an earful later of what she thinks about the war.

“You are planning to overthrow a king, and yet you have no plan for what comes after,” she says.

“First we have to win the war.”

Robb Stark King in the North

King’s Landing

Joffrey Baratheon threatens Sansa Stark after getting word of Robb Stark’s latest victory. She is stripped of her dress by the king’s guard, but Tyrion Lannister and his bodyguard Bronn arrive to stop it.

Tyrion Lannister Saves Sansa Stark

“The mad king did what he likes, has your uncle Jamie told you what happened to him?” Tyrion scolds Joffrey.

“No one threatens his grace in the presence of the king’s guard!” The king’s guard interrupts.

“I’m not threatening the king ser, I am educating my nephew. Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him.”

Ser Meryn looks at him.

“That was a threat. See the difference?”


Tyrion asks if Sansa wants the engagement off, but she says she is loyal to King Joffrey, her one true love.

“The little king’s backed up. Clogged from balls to brain,” says Bronn.

“Do you think dipping his wick will cure what ails him?” asks Tyrion.

“There’s no cure for being a cunt.”

Tyrion sends some whores to entertain Joffrey in his room. It turns out that he a sadomasochist streak! He commands one of the girls to spank the other, first with a belt then with a spiked scepter. Then threatens to kill her if she doesn’t do what he commands. He. Is. Pure. Evil.

Joffrey Baratheon Masochist 01 2012 04 23

Joffrey Baratheon Masochist 02 2012 04 23

Later, a cocky Ser Lancel Lannister brings a message to Tyrion from Queen Cersei in the middle of the night. She wants Pycelle to be freed from the black cells. Tyrion then turns things around and blackmails Lancel who had been having sex with the Queen! Lancel submits to becoming Tyrion’s spy in exchange for not having his secret revealed to Joffrey.

“My father told you to obey my sister. Obey her. Stay close to her side. Keep her trust. Pleasure her whenever she requires. No one ever need know for as long as you keep faith with me. I want to know what Cersei is doing. Everything.”

Well played!

He added that he will release Pycelle but he will no longer be on the council — and possibly “be harmed.” LOL.

Tyrion Lannister Lancel Blackmail

Watch: Game of Thrones – Season 2 Episode 5 – Video Preview – The Ghost of Harrenhal


Arya and Gendry arrive at Harrenhal castle which is occupied by the Lannister army. They are torturing people for information.

Arya recites names and places to keep her sane.

The torture device is a bucket with a rat inside strapped to the prisoner’s chest. It is heated which agitates the rat and starts eating and clawing. The prisoner is then beheaded.

The next day, Gendry was selected to be tortured. Before anything too bad happens, Lord Tywin Lannister arrives a day early. He inspects the place and orders that the prisoners be put to work instead of tortured. I think Gendry was to become a blacksmith again. The soldier who stole Needle, Arya’s sword, threatens her — but Tywin stops him. He notices immediately that Arya is a girl.

“A girl. Dressed as a boy. Why?” he asks.

“Safer to travel my lord,” she answers.


He then makes Arya his new cupbearer! Omigosh.

Arya Stark Harrenhal

Across the Narrow Sea

One of the men that Danaerys sent out comes back with word that the city of Quarth is nearby. The desert around the walls is called the Garden of Bones. The leaders of Quarth called the Thirteen are interested in meeting the Mother of Dragons.

Danaerys Quarth 01 2012 04 23

When Danaerys arrives with her horde (malnurished and weak and not much of a horde really), the Thirteen greet her. Before they accept her in however, they demand that they see the dragons first. She refuses. They turn away. And even if she had nothing, she threatens them.

“Thirteen! When my dragons are grown. We will take back what was stolen from us and destroy those who have wronged us. We will lay waste to armies and burn cities to the ground. Turn us away and we will burn you first.”

One of the Thirteen, Xaro Xhoan Daxos, then invokes sumai — and vouches for Danaerys and her dragons. She is then allowed to enter the city with her people.


Xaro Xhoan Daxos Sumai

Danaerys Quarth 02 2012 04 23


Lord Baelish meets with Renly Baratheon to discuss the war. Ever the manipulator, he tells Renly that he could enter King’s Landing and find a protacted siege or open gates. He is later seen talking to Margaery Tyrell about her marriage to Renly (and his relationship with her brother). She shuts him down quite nicely.

“The whole notion of marriage seems to confuse you, so let me explain. My husband is my king and my king is my husband. Here’s your tent.”

Margaery Tyrell Baelish

He then talks to Catelyn Stark, who doesn’t want to talk to him. After his “I loved you since I was a boy” line didn’t work, he makes his offer: a prisoner exchange. Jamie Lannister for Sansa and Arya Stark. Arya Stark of course is at large, so Baelish is a snake through and through. I really hope Cat doesn’t fall for this. To show sincerity, Baelish presents Cat with a chest containing Ned Stark’s head and/or body (they did not show it).

Catelyn Stark vs Baelish

Renly, Loras and Catelyn meet with Stannis Baratheon and his witch/mistress Melisandre. No treaty or alliance is formed as Stannis is convinced (by Ned Stark’s declaration before his death and apparently now by a higher power of the lord of light) that he is the king even if Renly has the bigger army. He tells Renly that he has one night to reconsider, or he shall destroy him.

Stormlands Game of Thrones 01 2012 04 23

Stormlands Game of Thrones 02 2012 04 23

Later, Stannis orders his righthand man Davos to take Melisandre to shore. In a cave, she disrobes to reveal that she is now fully pregnant! Didn’t they have sex just last episode? Furthermore, she lies on the ground… and then starts giving birth … to a shadow demon!


I am stunned.

This show is amazing.

Melisandre Birth To Demon 01 2012 04 23

Melisandre Birth To Demon 02 2012 04 23

Next week: More Arya! Jon Snow! I’m so excited!

Watch: Game of Thrones – Season 2 Episode 5 – Video Preview – The Ghost of Harrenhal

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