Grammy performers sent email by CBS banning breasts, genitals, worthy causes

Credit: CBS.com

Because all the world’s a stage, and we merely clothed performers on it, CBS Standards and Practices sent out a fairly ridiculous email to the musicians who will be performing on this Sunday’s Grammy Awards.

Check out the full email below. Yes, this is a real email. Via Deadline:

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.

Those last two sentences are particularly troublesome for anyone who was thinking about wearing a Breast Cancer pin, American flag, or a “Bring Back the Monopoly Iron!” button. As for the rest of the rules and violations, I suppose we’ll now be robbed of the sight of Adam Levine whipping out his payphone onstage, or Keith Urban wearing loose-fitting jeans. Ah well, crack kills anyway.