Gossip Girl continued its shortened sixth and final season this week with “High Infidelity.” The episode opened where our favorite Upper East Siders are most comfortable; naked in bed before/ after sexin’ it up. While Serena (Blake Lively) attempted to make her return to the New York social scene as a grown-up (what a joke), Nate (Chace Crawford) and Blair (Leighton Meester) took things way back to high school. Meanwhile, Chuck (Ed Westwick) continued his wild goose chase in an attempt to ruin his father for good, and Dan (Penn Badgley) recovered from losing his book deal with the help of the ever-ready Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg).
Do these people still go to school, or has that ship sailed? Obviously, Serena’s all growed-up nowadays and everyone knows big people can’t go to college or get jobs. Honestly, watching the other characters struggle with big business ventures and building legacies, however crazy and juvenile things can get, only makes Serena Van Der Woodsen look all the more ridiculous for thinking she can skip from creating a life for herself right to being a philanthropist. This week, Serena was someway somehow put in charge of hosting a gala for the Central Park conservation effort.
Chuck and his new partner in crime, Amira, were still hard at work attempting to ruin evil emperor Bart Bass. What happened to the woman who stuck around just because she was curious to hear Bart’s secret? A few days into the hunt and she’s ready to fly the coop. Chuck insisted she stay for one more brunch. Posing as his girlfriend, Chuck had Amira watch Bart react to several names he dropped. They came up with nothing, and Amira decided to leave for good; however, not before Bart pulled her aside and reminded her that he wanted to forget about their weekend affair a while back. Lily (Kelly Rutherford), of course, overheard and couldn’t wait to confront Bart. Apparently, he slept with Amira years ago while he suspected Lily of having a fling with Rufus. It seemed like no big deal, really, until Lily chastised Chuck for bringing the woman to brunch. She assumed Chuck wanted to screw with their marriage. In reality, Chuck could give a crap.
Blair began the episode prepping for a big magazine review in Women’s Wear Daily. Dorota (Zuzanna Szadkowski) slayed it when it came to creating Blair’s dream office for her design studio. The only problem was that Blair neglected to bring her mother’s team home from Paris. They declined to join her, actually. I mean, of course she would think having a cool office was more important than having an actual design squad! This is Gossip Girl! In short, Blair ended up “hiring” the same-old tired group of minions to pretend they were her team. At least, just to get her through the interview and the photo shoot featuring her samples. Who showed up to cover the article but former low man on the totem pole, Nelly Yuki! Nelly Yuki, solid as a rock. The show is obviously attempting to swing this full circle before the finale. Also, did anyone else think they took a page from Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion with Nelly’s transformation? That was very Lisa Luder; high school wannabe becomes fashion writer.
The minions were a train wreck, and Nelly reveled in Blair’s inept attempt at convincing her that they used to be friends. Nelly actually had some nice moments of throwing shade. Chalk it up to a few early seasons of being the show’s punching bag. She informed Blair that her clothes would be featured alongside those of Poppy Lifton, another face from the past. I barely remember Poppy but I remember her being a short-term villain and the gang getting rid of her because she was a horror show. Through a little undercover research, Blair discovered that Poppy’s line was nearly identical to hers; same fabric and all. Of course, she cried, “sabotage” and chose to play dirty. Does that ever really work, Blair? Not unless she’s going after a real bad guy. Not against Nelly Yuki. Whenever the show presents a situation like this, we know Blair is going to get “pied in the face” by now.
Dan and Georgina decided to switch gears after he was released from his book deal. This made absolutely not sense considering the fact that they had just sent Dan to Italy to write. He didn’t seem too ticked, though, and Georgina the Great was almost inspired. Instead, the two decided to start hounding magazines in an attempt to run a serialized column exposing and embarrassing Dan’s awful friends and mortifying family. Is there any way Rufus can actually come back from that eye-burning scene the series premiere closed with? I’m thinking he may as well be dead.
Resident lame brain and all around good guy, Nate Archibald, needed a new pitch for his paper after losing his piece on exposing GG last week. He decided Dan’s stories would be the perfect amount of scandal to relaunch his flailing paper. Georgina handles the business side of things, though, and she knows The Spectator is a total joke. She gave a big fat “no,” but failing in meeting after meeting with legitimate magazines may have changed Dan’s mind. Everyone loved the idea but feared going up against the Upper East Side elite. Georgina figured they should just give in to some demands and make some edits. Anything but The Spectator to get her ass out of Brooklyn.
Somewhere between the series premiere and the current episodes, Chuck’s story arc has become so much heavier and darker than everyone else’s. Not that I mind, although, I do get sick of the back and forth relationship with Blair. We get it. They only work at a distance, when keeping each other at arm’s length. Chuck confronted Amira regarding the affair with her father. She admitted to it but argued that it was unimportant. Chuck, on the other hand, was so pissed he locked her money in his super safe and refused to give it back until she help him truly crack Bart’s secret.
Blair concocted this somewhat funny but mostly ridiculous ploy to stage a break-in at Poppy’s studio, even going as far as to give her minions tights for their faces. A speed bump arose, however, as Poppy decided to photograph her dresses on models at Serena’s event. Blair, of course, wasn’t invited and hadn’t even heard that Serena was back in town. Blair would have to call in a secret connection for help. Chuck? Probably so, but actually not.
Serena and Nate caught up over a walk about town, only to stumble upon his new girl, Sage, and her beau, Stephen (Barry Watson), who I still think of as Matt from 7th Heaven, out to lunch. I will think of him as Matt, always and forever. Also, I feel absolutely no chemistry between them and I hope this is not who Serena ends up with. Nate immediately called up Sage and left her a voicemail breaking things off. He’s been lied to enough. He encouraged Serena to be so bold. She ended up covertly calling Stephen, making assumptions, and pegging him a cheater. As Lily advised, growing up is about ignoring the cheating and lies rather than exposing them on the spot. Worst advice ever, but Serena is determined to be a big girl. She decided to play dumb at her party.
Side note: has Chace Crawford ever had more trouble acting than when he had to pretend Nate loved Millionaire Matchmaker? I don’t blame him, not one bit.
Blair talking to Chuck:
Blair talking to anyone else:
As it turned out, Blair was talking about a hottie to distract the models. She ended up sidetracking four dresses, but two were still en route to the party with Poppy. Chuck roared in after getting a text from Blair, only to realize that he’d been set up. Somehow, his super-jerk of a father managed to text his as Blair to sidetrack him. Uh oh, Chuck. Run!
Georgina and Dan showed up looking spiffy and ready to mingle for new gossip. Who did Dan bump into but good ol’ Nelly Yuki, who was ready to dish out some sage advice. Move on. Stop doing this. Stop pining. You’re a loser, and so am I. We have the truth and we make our own rules. They can never do that. Good for her. It was all very Great Gatsby. Just don’t die drunk and alone.
Blair attempted to sweet talk Nelly, but as expected, it was a total bust. Serena embarrassed her and threatened to call security. Doesn’t Blair know? Serena’s dating an older guy so she has no need for old friends. Grown-ups think friends are useless. In the end, Blair’s plan imploded as Nelly assumed it would. No one set her up. She blew everything on her own. Even Poppy seems to have moved on from catty antics. As it turns out, they just have similar tastes. In Blair’s defense, there’s no way that would be the case in reality, so I’ll back her on this one. Nelly decided to cut Blair from the interview in order to give Poppy more space in the magazine. Another lesson probably not learned, but that’s why we love watching Blair Waldorf.
Sage showed up ready to prove she wasn’t a brat. What did she do? She threw a tantrum. Serena, Nate, Stephen, and Sage all met in one place, and the big secret was revealed. Stephen has a seventeen year old daughter named Sage. Nate had misconstrued her hidden secret, thinking she was cheating. He just thought she was sleeping with her dad! As it turns out, Stephen was just not ready to fill Serena in. Why would he be? Sage seemed like a total nightmare. A justified nightmare, though, because everyone knows Serena. Why would Nate, who is attempting to run his own paper, want to date a high school junior? Just because she’s legal doesn’t make it right. In the end, everyone was embarrassed, and Nate got punched.
By the time he got back to the hotel, Chuck discovered that Amira had left with her money. Bart knew the code to Chuck’s safe would be his mother’s birthday. I’m still confused about the whole mother debacle. Is she dead or alive? Do we really even know who she is, let alone what her birthday is? Anyway, Bart offered a peace treaty via a few lame-o properties, but Chuck declined. Tired of being screwed with, Chuck promised to expose and ruin his father once and for all. Bart laughed and gave Lily a necklace. A “get ready to ditch Chuck, Lily” present. Lily wouldn’t give up hope. Her relationship with Chuck is part of what makes her likable. In the end, Amira left Chuck Bass one last tip in the form of a photograph of a man she believed could be the key to Bart’s secret.
At Waldorf designs, Dorota rangled a team of Project Runway rejects to be Blair’s official team. With only ten days to launch her line at a fashion show, Blair decided to start from scratch, using her mother as inspiration. Eleanor Waldorf isn’t dead, but aren’t they treating her like she is? I admire that Blair actually wants to make something of herself, whereas Serena hasn’t learned the concept of substance, yet. I have a feeling she’ll learn that from Blair by the season’s end. I suspect Blair will learn that she doesn’t need a guy to fulfill her through her friendship with Serena.
Dan ran straight to Nate after talking to Nelly. He decided to go with The Spectator, the only publication that would offer to publish the whole truth. In a world where Chuck Bass gets the girl, Dan is ready to burn every bridge he’s made, except Nate, of course. Nate smirked and obliged. Won’t they be angry with him, too? Dan is ready to “take what is his.” That was very Khaleesi from Game of Thrones of you, Dan. She takes what is hers with fire and blood, and you take what is yours with (Georgina) Sparks and lady-gossip.
The episode closed with Serena walking Sage to school in an attempt to make her look cool. Serena’s a Gossip Girl icon, but Sage pretended no one read that bull anymore. Liar! As it turns out, Gossip Girl is still very in, and Sage is ready to take down Serena.
What did you all think of the episode? Were you happy to see the return of Nelly Yuki? Do you love the chemistry between Dan and Georgina as whatever the hell they are as a duo? Do you like Serena with Stephen? Will Blair’s line succeed? What’s Bart’s big secret? How will it all end?