Our recap of Glee Season 4 Episode 2: “Britney 2.0.”
A potential romance (or two) is hatched, Rachel sticks it to Cassandra, and Brittany hits rock bottom as a new GLEE delves deeper into the Britney songbook with surprisingly awesome results.
Brittany is on top of the world and speaking her voiceovers aloud; after talking about how she feels “like Jesus in the North Pole”, Brittany and the Cheerios do an epic performance of “Hold it Against Me.” Sue doesn’t like the performance though, and she doesn’t like that Britney is failing all of her tests either. Promptly, she cuts Brittany from the Cheerios, which is obviously upsetting. Luckily, she has Skype with Santana to cheer her up. Looking fabulous as ever for a couple of onscreen seconds, she gives Brit some advice. Lord Tubbington has also apparently joined a gang, much to Brit’s dismay.
Hopeful for what it could do for Brittany, Mr. Schue announces that he’s bringing back the Britney Spears theme to Glee for the week. Thank god for that, because we get the ultimate sexiness of a Blartie duet (“Boys”/”Boyfriend”). As much as I can’t stand the Beibs, they actually do a fantastic job with the mashup. I mean, it’s no “Pretty”/”Unpretty”, but it still totally rocks.
Back at NYADA, Cassandra is still trash-talking Rachel as usual, feeling that she entirely lacks the sexy. Ouch. She doesn’t even bother sugar-coating anything. Rachel and Kurt decide to move into an apartment, and while discussing Cassandra’s awful class, Kurt reveals some (not very shocking) details about her past. She used to be on Broadway, up until she attacked a guy in the audience for his ringing cell phone. Talk about a loose cannon… Kurt encourages her to “bring the sexy,” like any gay best friend would do.
Marley is crushing over Jake, meanwhile, Unique isn’t having any of it. She insists that feeling anything toward him is a bad idea, after which she breaks into song about how he’s a “womanizer” with the appropriately titled, “Womanizer.” The number is quite good and energetic, with the perfect blend of over-the-top and fun dancing. When Jake asks her out, though, Marley just can’t say no. Who would even be able to say no to that smile?
In NYC, Rachel stumbles upon Brody working out a bench (mmm…), who easily is able to talk him into performing in front of Cassandra to put her in her place. Oh, and he calls her sexy. He actually calls her SEXY. MMM, this boy is perfect. But still, no Finn.
The Glee club performs a rousing rendition of “3″, though I could do without Joe’s slightly annoying oversinging. Britney nearly shaves her head and then is chased in the hallway by Jacob Israel. Paparazzi be hatin’! She swats at his camera, and is of course photographed in a compromising situation, just like the REAL Britney Spears. Mr. Schue tries again to talk to Jake, but doesn’t get through to him at all. Jake meets up with Marley on the bleachers in a moment that feels like it was lifted right out of GREASE. Almost instantly, I can feel the chemistry between Marley and Jake even before they bust out in a perfect mashup of “Crazy”/”You Drive Me Crazy”. Like Puckerman, Jake is perfection behind a guitar. He gives Marley his jacket after she complains about being cold in an adorable gentlemanly gesture.
Britney is chatting with a bootleg Siri properly named “Kiki” with a hilarious accent, who helps to assure the rest of the glee club that it would be a good idea to prerecord their performance and lip-synch along to the content. Kiki assures them it’s not a good idea… it’s a great idea!
In NYADA, Rachel comes late to Cassandra’s class, but an epicly choreographed version of “Oops I Did it Again” seems like it should change Cassie’s mind about Rachel once and for all. Especially with Brody doing that sexy table-humping thing he does… but it doesn’t. She’s not impressed at all, actually. Cassie says Rachel was just “okay” and the song was “garbage”. That’s when Rachel lets her have it big time, calling her “some YouTube joke.” The outburst is more than welcome though, because after just two episodes of Cassie trash-talking Rachel, we needed her to stand up for herself at least a little bit!
In the lunchroom, two guys picking on Marley’s mom get Jake pretty angry, and once he’s angry there’s no calming him down. Mr. Schue intervenes before anything serious happens, and he drags Jake into the choir room. Yay, Puck returns! He tells Jake that nothing will make him a man except for Glee club because “being surrounded by those losers” was basically the best thing that ever happened to him. If that doesn’t convince Jake to join the glee club, then nothing will. The one minute dose of Puckerman doesn’t really do it for me, but it was nice seeing him for at least that minute.
Even further hitting rock bottom, Brittany makes a total fool of herself at the school assembly. The rest of the glee club is giving their performance of “Gimme More” their all, but Brit is chugging soda and stuffing her face with cheese doodles. The scene brings to mind some other brilliant disasters like “Push It” and “Blame it on the Alcohol.” Naturally, everyone realized they are lip-synching. Thusly, Brittany resigns from the New Directions. This girl needs a serious wake-up call.
Rachel has a moment with Cassie, who kind of redeems her total bitch of a self. Her character makes sense because she has fallen from stardom and is obviously taking it out on her students. She just wants to prepare them for the harsh waters of Broadway and the world. She tells Rachel that she doesn’t believe in second chances and that she would kick her out of her class if she could. The school policy says otherwise though, so she’s keeping her around. What would she do without a bitch teacher in her life?
Following a map Sam left for her, Brittany talks with him in the auditorium. He appropriately stages an intervention because she was “hitting rock bottom on purpose.” Otherwise, she would never be able to have such an awesome comeback. As such, she goes to Sue and commands her position on the Cheerios be reinstated, even if she doesn’t exactly get all of her facts right. Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury are tutoring her to help her improve her grades, which will hopefully help her graduate by years’ end. Brittany is such a moron, but at the same time I love her.
Rachel and Kurt are starting to paint their apartment, even though all Rachel has done so far includes painting a heart with the word “Finn” inside of it. Kurt heads out to get some cake alone when Brody knocks at the door. He rode the train a whole 45 minutes for her! The word sexy keeps getting thrown around a lot, and he does something weird with his mouth… but for some reason he’s just plain sexy. But he’s no Finn, and even Rachel knows that. He tries to make a move, but promises to respect her boundaries. Um, I don’t see this lasting for very long.
Jake asks Marley if he can sit by her in the glee club, and right when it seems like an adorable new romance is in bloom, Kitty sinks her fangs into Marley when she commands Jake’s jacket back because “she’s his girlfriend.” As if this biotch wasn’t bad enough, she practically rips the jacket off Marley. I still don’t exactly think he’s a womanizer, but damn did he screw up by not telling Kitty off. He clearly wasn’t as into her as Marley, so what’s the problem?
Closing the show in yet another terribly upsetting ballad, Marley simply slays Britney’s “Everytime”. I can’t take these musical montages sometimes; Rachel paints over her Finn heart which might mean something about the thing with Brody, and Brittany sulks on her bed staring at her laptop because Santana is “unavailable”. Oh, and in case anyone forgot, Jake is now doing his guitar thing with Kitty and not Marley.
So what did everyone think of the episode? Sarah Jessica Parker next episode, and shirtless Sam? I’m so there.
Some of the best quotes this episode:
“Yesterday I caught one of them trying to marry a squirrel.” -Sue Sylvester, about the Cheerios’ stupidity.
“I’m not speaking to you, I know you joined a gang!” -Britney Pierce, to Lord Tubbington her cat.
“I had my first threesome at 7, and once, I beat up a police horse.” -Noah Puckerman, to Jake about how badass he is.
“This is clearly the plan of an idiot.” -Sue Sylvester to Brittany
“Just know that when we’re together, whatever we’re talking about, whatever we’re doing: I’m thinking of kissing you.” -Brody to Rachel
Hold It Against Me
Oops I Did It Again
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