Glee delivers its most fun xmas episode to date that’s full of fun and cheer and themed after everyone favorite X-mas flick, Love, Actually. Nothing to get you into the holiday spirit like some fresh Glee!
Check out the full recap for episode 10 of Glee season 4, Glee, Actually:
It’s that time of year again, and Sue Sylvester is in her typical I-hate-all-things-cheerful mood, venting in her diary. She essentially informs us that we will be gifted with some separate storylines that will tie together like a perfect bow at the end, just like in Love, Actually. Aw, how sentimental of her!
Artie is all bruised up because someone didn’t properly salt the wheelchair ramp, and Finn thinks it’s enough to take him to the nurse’s office. He’s tired of being in the chair, which is understandable. Maybe he should just get those costly walker-things from two Christmases ago? He makes a wish that he was “never in that dumb chair”… to which we’re treated a deliciously odd alternate-reality take.
Tina hasn’t stopped stuttering, because Artie was never around to boost her confidence. Oh, and Rory finally finally FINALLY is back in an all-too-short guardian angel role. Becky is the school slut; Finn and most of the boys are back to their old tricks beating up Kurt for being a super gay. Kurt doesn’t even know who Blaine is! Will is still with the awful Terri, who is bringing around a babydoll that easily fools Will into thinking it’s a real child due to his drunken state. Emma is in Hawaii on her honeymoon with Coach Tanaka, Rachel is a librarian at McKinley High. Rory informs Artie, rather glumly, that he was the glue of Glee. Without Artie, there was no glee club. Artie invites all the New Directioners back to the choir room even if it’s currently not the choir room. He puts on a rousing performance of “Feliz Navidad”, which raises more eyebrows than convinces well… anyone at all. Boy’s got some serious dance moves, even if Finn easily proclaims “that was SO gay!” To add insult to injury, Quinn is dead. She was never able to walk again after her text-while-driving accident, and died of a broken heart. That’s just depressing! Artie sits in her abandoned wheelchair, reclaiming his rightful place, just as he wakes up. Yay, nice Finn is back. Artie embraces his wheelchair-ways; it’s really a part of him.
Back in NYC, Rachel tries her hardest to beg Kurt to come with her on the Rosie O’Donnell Gay Holiday Cruise with her and her gay dads, but Kurt has no interest whatsoever. He’s planning to just spend some time to himself and mull things over when… his dad surprises him with a visit! He brings a tree with him, giving their adorable little apartment some christmas flair. As they hang the ornaments, Kurt and his dad reflect upon some sad (and happy!) memories. After Rachel leaves, Kurt lugs his dad through NYC, and over hot chocolate he drops some saddening news out of nowhere: he has prostate cancer. He assures Kurt that he shouldn’t be worried and they got the cancer early, but Kurt is more worried than anything that his dad won’t even make it to see Kurt fully realizing his destiny. The moments between Kurt and his dad are always impossibly perfect!
Kurt gives his dad some cute NYADA merch on X-Mas eve while Burt delivers something clearly more spectacular: an unexpected reunion with Blaine. Blaine promises to keep an eye on Kurt’s dad. Their reunion is just so perfect, I wanna cry! The yearly tradition of perfect gay duet has not been missed, and there was ALMOST a poignant kiss while skating. I love “White Christmas” more now than ever before. Cutest. Not-Couple. Ever. Before they part, they basically basically make a vow to each other to always stay close no matter whether or not they are together. This episode was the step in the right direction that Klaine fans everywhere have been waiting for.
Jake gets teased about what holiday he’s celebrating, but luckily Puck intervenes before things get ugly. He claims to be back doing “research for his script”. Puck invites Jake to ride with him all the way to Cali on his sidecar… and it totally happens! They drive right onto the Paramount Pictures lot together… that’s adorable. Nothing like some bromance between actual brothers. Puck finds some guitars on the lot and sing “Oh Chanukah”, which gives the episode a Jew flavor that was sorely lacking. Alls great, chilling in what Puck claims to be a home he is renting up until the actual owner comes home early from vacation and kicks the two Pucker-brothers out. Everything Puck told Jake to get him out to Cali was all a lie, basically because he was lonely. They end up back in Lima at Breastix for what you’d think would be an awkward family reunion. In the end, though, both their moms and Jake and Puck are united over their ass of a father, who abandoned all four of them.
Brittany goes a little overboard with her Christmas gifts this year, as evident by giving Ryder a vacation and Tina a new car. She explains to Tina that the Mayan apocalypse is imminent, so she took out all her savings and wants all of her friends to enjoy their final days on earth and live life to its fullest. The plotline is ridiculous, of course, but no more ridiculous than Britt still believing in Santa Claus or using Dr. Pepper as mouthwash. Sam agrees that the apocalypse is imminent, mainly due to some whacky blonde math. They even start the “First and last meeting of the Mayan Apocalypse club”, which doesn’t really go over too well. Sam busts out in probably the most useless of all the Christmas numbers this episode, “Jingle Bell Rock”, and as much as I love the song, it’s definitely an odd choice. Might as well go balls-out with the world coming to an end, right? His voice is just as sexy as ever, though. To top it off, he proposes to her and Beiste marries the two of them after claiming to be licensed on some Mayan website. 4 days later, it’s December 22nd… and the world didn’t end. Woopsie.
At the faculty and staff secret santa drawing, Sue picks Marley’s mom and is at a total loss as to what to get her. Becky turns down all of Sue’s gifts to her, as she has literally every item she tries to gift her. She’d rather have a hot date or a snowmobile than anything else, apparently. Sue makes some nasty and mean remarks about Mrs. Rose’s weight, but overhears mother and daughter talking about how they don’t even have enough cash to buy a Christmas tree. The only gift she wants, she tells Marley, is for her to sing. And Marley’s voice is oh-so-glorious as she serenades her momma with “The First Noel.” Sue decides to sell her unjustly cut-down tree to a man in the toothpick market in order to make some extra money and be especially Santa-esque to the Rose family. They wake up on Christmas morning to a whole tree, plenty of cash, and plenty of presents. That’s one Christmas miracle I’m totally in love with!
Puck tells Jake he’s gonna move back to Ohio to watch over their moms and his kid brother while Beiste luckily tells Sam and Brittany that the two of them aren’t actuality married. Turns out you can’t actually get licensed for that Mayan thing online, what a shocker. Both Sam and Brittany are upset and feel empty now that they have nothing to believe in, but Beiste pretends the next apocalypse is coming in 2014. They have almost two years to live their life to the fullest. Meanwhile Burt is sandwiched between Blaine and Kurt on the couch as he watches his game. It takes Kurt less than a minute to open up a copy of Vogue. Burt asks Blaine about his plans for the future and he admits he wants to go to NYADA. Um, yes. So much yes. Mrs. Rose goes to Sue and says thanks, but she can’t accept that money, but in the end she takes it anyway. Times are hard for single mothers, apparently, and also that toothpick guy must have payed a pretty penny for the tree.
Mrs. Rose drags Sue to the auditorium, where a cutesy wintery-themed Glee performance is waiting in the wings. The group sings “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” as a thank-you to Sue, which is adorable. I loved all their outfits! Now comes the long wait till January, which is excruciating but it could be worse. I love season 4 of GLEE!
Some of the night’s best quotes:
“Dude, are you high? I never said that.” -Finn
“No matter what, no matter where, even if we’re not together: we are always gonna be there for each other.” -Blaine
“You’re in Hollywood and you’re a Jew or a gay, you basically got it made.” -Puck
“Some people just can’t face the cold hard fact that this earth is really just the back of a giant crocodile that’s destroyed and recreated every 500 years.” -Brittany
“It’s December 18th… 3 days till the end… let’s make this time count.” -Sam
“What do you get the woman who’s eaten everything?” -Sue
“I wanted to say thank you for what you did for Marley and me.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I had nothing to do with the making of that film.” -Marley and Sue
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