“Identity Crisis” saw The Carrie Diaries gang trying on a plethora of figurative hats in their ongoing journey to teenage self-discovery. I said “hats,” but “wigs” would have been more appropriate. Maybe Andy Warhol had it right all along. Maybe the easiest way to shake things up is by slapping on a wig and starting your day at dusk. Maybe I’ve gotten too into this show because I’m starting to read my own writing in Carrie Bradshaw’s (Annasophia Robb) omniscient narrative voice.
Ah, the Spring Break of 1985. Good times for everyone but Carrie Bradshaw, who was invited to spend the week working at Interview as test for a possible full-time summer assistant position. Carrie was thrilled until she arrived at the office just in time pick up the abundance of Larissa’s slack. Larissa decided to skip town with Grace Jones, leaving high school girl Carrie to handle her affairs on her own. Having not realized that Larissa “stepping out” could possibly lead to a weeklong spur of the moment vacation, Carrie took a call from Andy Warhol’s assistant and informed him that Larissa would be available to pick up a package shortly. Larissa, and only Larissa, was permitted to pick up Andy’s special package. Carrie was screwed.
Carrie decided to get crafty. After the woman working the boutique shooed the little curly one away without any hesitation, Carrie decided to return as Larissa. As in, she swapped identities in order to correct her mistake. Yeah, Carrie’s english accent was absurd, but she went balls to the wall, so the store manager bought her routine. While Carrie waited for the package to actually arrive, she had the opportunity to try on the designer’s new line. In the end she was even offered the opportunity to keep the clothes… as a shameless bribe to land the label on the cover of the magazine. What a pickle, Bradshaw! No worries! Carrie didn’t even get the opportunity to decide whether or not she’d keep the collection. The delivery girl carrying Warhol’s package happened to be a scorned girlfriend of a man Larissa had been sleeping with. Apparently, Larissa would schedule deliveries, receive the packages, and send the deliveryman off with a happy ending. Signed, sealed, delivered, use a condom.
Desperate to avoid a beat-down, Carrie admitted to lying about her identity, sending the store employee into a frenzy right along with the semi-scary delivery lady. Carrie made it out alive, and after a brief stop in the Bronx while wearing an accidentally stolen thousand-dollar dress, she found her disheveled self back at the office of Interview. Oh no! Amidst the chaos of her afternoon Carrie had managed to screw up an NYC lunch date with Walt (Brendan Dooling)! Not that Walt cared in the slightest. He was actually more excited to see Bennett (Jake Robinson) than Carrie, in any case. Bennett has, of course, become Walt’s gay spirit guide. This week, Walt’s view of Bennett seemed to transition from “all-knowing sexuality mentor” to “straight-up man-crush,” for Walt, at least. Carrie tossed the package down on the table, under the impression that she’d inadvertently become a drug mule for Andy Warhol. Luckily, it merely contained a wig! Seriously, though, Warhol’s wigs were iconic. I would have thought these folks would have been even more excited to touch that than they would have been, say, pulling out a fresh brick of coke.
Back in Connecticut, Sebastian (Austin Butler) found himself feeling a tad guilty, secretly hoping for the permanent demise to his parents’ rekindling marriage. I feel you, Kydd. I used to have random nightmares about my parents getting back together, too! Sebastian’s mother used him as a “rock,” yet again. Whenever she and his father would hit another speed bump, she’d show up sobbing over her crumbling sex-life. The Kydd was appropriately freaked. To take his mind off of things, Sebastian agreed to help Maggie (Katie Findlay) finagle a new fake ID. The idea of parents having sex singed into his brain for all eternity, Sebastian became even more devastated after stumbling across Carrie’s father, Tom (Matt Letscher), hooking up with some random woman in his car. Luckily, this time he had Maggie to help spread all that “cringe” around.
Tom Bradshaw had been getting back in the sex-saddle as of lately, slowly making his way back onto the dating scene over the past few episodes. This time, he found himself oddly attracted to an incredibly obnoxious woman in his meditation class. Nothing sexier than cracking gum and chewing like a horse! Still, he did find himself infatuated, and he obviously performed well, because he ended up with Deb’s number!
Well, Mouse (Ellen Wong), your promising stint as manager of the basketball team barely lasted an episode in total. Mouse had taken it upon herself to prepare the team for Regionals… by ranking them against one another. Yikes, Mouse relegated those jocks and their statistics like they were Pokémon cards. It’s a crappy job, but one jock has to be the Jigglypuff. Infighting between the teammates was imminent, thanks to Mouse.
Surprisingly, she found some sage advice in Donna (Chloe Bridges), who’d been responsible for causing a three-game losing streak the season prior. Donna had dated two players at once, driving them apart. After she cut them loose, as she always does, the two found common ground in their hatred for her. Mouse knew what she had to do. In kicking her role as manager into dictator territory, she found herself fired before the episode’s end. Thankfully, the lack of responsibility allowed her to see that West, her archrival, might be more interested in her than she’d initially realized. Game on, Mouse!
Bradshaw, Bennett, and Walt hustled over to a secret location Warhol’s assistant had relayed to them. Inside a children’s clothing store, the trio discovered the entrance to a perpetually moving nightclub. Unfortunately, Carrie’s Larissa impersonation wouldn’t convince the bouncer to let them inside. He’d slept with Larissa, too! In an act of utter desperation, Carrie revealed her true identity as a mere Connecticut teenager who just loooOoves Manhattan. Fat chance, Bradshaw, but with a flash of Warhol’s wig, they were given the go-ahead. Why didn’t you just say so to begin with, Carrie? Wigs=Power in the world of Warhol! Warhol’s assistant revealed himself at the door to the club, thanking Carrie for her prompt professionalism. That was the fastest anyone had ever delivered a package to Andy, and he even went as far as to suggest that Carrie handle all of his packages.
When push came to shove, the antics of Sebastian’s mother got to him. He burst, revealing his true feelings and admitting that he didn’t think his parents giving it another reckless yet torrid go would glue their family back together. He just always ends up caught between the two of them, and as the child, that’s not ever okay. His mother revealed her fear of being alone. Sebastian assured her that that would never be the case. She’d always have him and his extremely high hair. Maybe they poof his hair up so high to compliment Bradshaw’s!
Walt found himself miffed when Bennett dared to greet another gay friend outside of the club. Back at Interview, he and Carrie finally had a heart-to-heart surrounding his “issue.” Walt admitted to having strange feelings for Bennett, but was still unwilling to say the word “gay” out loud. Thankfully, he had Carrie to do that for him! Carrie reaffirmed her unconditional love for her friend. At least Walt’s making progress without wigging out. That’s all for my bad wig punning tonight!
As usual, Carrie and Sebastian closed the show munching on some tasty diner fries side by side. Having nailed her field test, Carrie’s summer was starting to look bright!
What did you all think of The Carrie Diaries Episode 11, “Identity Crisis”? Do you think the series will come back for a second season? How do you feel about Walt’s coming-out journey? Do you like the idea of Mouse and West getting together?
Thanks for reading my Recap and Review of The Carrie Diaries Episode 11, “Identity Crisis”!