American Idol

AI Report Card Top 5: Now & Then – Everyone’s In It To Win IT!!!! (Well, Except You Haley)

As Depeche Mode once sang, “Words are very unnecessary…they can only do harm…” Thanks, Martin Gore, if only you knew how many sleepless nights I could have saved if I had only listened to your sage advice. And, since words are, indeed, unnecessary, here is a visual to sum up the intensity of my exasperation over this most abysmal night:

 

 

 

 

The agenda of The Powers That Be was in unabashed, unmitigated force tonight – more so than in recent memory.

Listen, I won’t change my history; I once considered Haley a full-blown menace and graded her accordingly. But her metamorphosing from Idol malcontent to bona fied contender has been dazzling to behold. Yet, to watch as this panel excoriated Reinhart’s solid, if imperfect, yet joyful “You & I” while practically ejaculating all over each other in an almost unrepentant, despicable sexual frenzy for James and Jacob – who gave three of the most heinous performances of this season (Durbin’s “Without You”, while manipulatively dismal, wasn’t as grotesque as the idea promised)  – just flaunted the continual blatant mendacity of the Idol machinations, with maniacal kapellmeister  Nigel Lythgoe pulling the strings in a musical puppet show from the dungeons of Marat Sade. The judges’ standing O for her spectacular “House Of The Rising Sun” – the single finest performance of the past two seasons and absolutely, historically one of Idol’s greatest – was too little too late.

I’ll forgo full-fledged Report Card commentary and let the grades speak for themselves. But, tomorrow I’ll be a guest on Jim Cantiello’s IDOL PARTY LIVE at Noon on MTV.com. And of course, find me here tomorrow evening for Rickey’s SECRET SHOW GONE WILD after Idol’s elimination show.

In the order of performances…

James Durbin
Song: 30 Seconds to Mars’ “Closer to the Edge”
My grade: D

Jacob Lusk
Song: Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown’s “No Air”
My grade: D

Lauren Alaina
Carrie Underwood’s “Flat on the Floor”
My grade: B

Scotty McCreery
Song: Montgomery Gentry’s “Gone”
My grade: B

Haley Reinhart
Song: Lady Gaga’s “You and I”
My grade: B+

James Durbin
Song: Harry Nilsson’s “Without You”
My grade: B-

Jacob Lusk
Nazareth’s “Love Hurts”
My grade: C

Lauren Alaina
Song: Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody”
My grade: B

Scotty McCreery
Song: Elvis Presley’s “Always on My Mind”
My grade: B+

Haley Reinhart
Song: The Animals’ “The House of the Rising Sun”
My grade: A

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14 comments
utah
utah

The judging also annoyed me last night as well. What bothers me, is this. Because they have criticized so sparingly this season, any criticism they now level is magnified. They may simply have wanted to point out that Iovine gave Haley bad song advice. But, instead of saying that....and moving on to the singing, they get hung up on the song.

Yet, James rolls out a 30 Second to Mars song, that only people on Mars have heard.....and, the judges react like we all sing that tune in the shower.

Anyways, it's obvious that there is 'steerage' going on....because there's a bit of a 'master-plan' to adhere to.....when it comes to the judging. I'm not saying the show is totally fixed. I am saying that the judges have their favorites, and they're protecting a bit of turf....with their comments.

Viz
Viz

What a train wreck....I finally figured out why my not-so-much-but-if-I-must-choose-one-favorite this year is Scotty even though I can't stand country music: he's the only one that doesn't SCREAM AT ME. James was an absolute train wreck last night. Jacob is laughable week after week, Lauren's voice is cracking more by the minute and should be completely gone by the end of the karaoke tour. Then there is Haley who saved the night with her last song in what can only be described as a heroic attempt to make America understand that their votes mean SQUAT and the dumbass judges are merely reading a scrip supplied by Nigel.

brian
brian

god help me i hope this is the last season of american idol...this whole season is an absolute train wreck...james and lauren in the finals and james one week he is all over the place the following he is pitch perfect maybe its the meds he is on that makes him jittery who knows and maybe they are babying him because the fact he is on them....if hailey or jacob dont go soon i will stop watching all together..as i could care less who wins this season as noone is good....this season is the worst by far XFACTOR AND THE VOICE HERE I COME!!!

randee
randee

OMG, who do you have writing for you? This is not your style of writing at all, and I have been following for years. I had to read it twice, now lets hear your define each of your "big" words in an unrelated sentence! Competing with the big guns in the idol blog? You are missing the wit and the humorous snark! Too many words!

Mikhail
Mikhail

Firstly, I am shocked to learn that Jennifer Lopez can ejaculate! Secondly, your report card and grading system has improved tremendously, with one glaring exception: Scotty's first shitty ditty is overrated and grade-inflated...c'mon dude, that suck song deserved a solid D. Thirdly, as for your abbreviated narrative, while not riddled with grammatical errors this time, it does appear someone bought you a thesaurus and an Oxford Engllsh Dictionary for your birthday. Look up: verbose. :D

DJ
DJ

The judging has been ridiculous all season. At a time when The Voice is becoming wildly popular and X-Factor is looming in the distance, Idol is looking more and more like a show on its last legs.

mdj
mdj

It is obvious, since before the season began, that they decided Lauren was the next American Idol. I believe they DO manipulate the results anyway they see fit. That is why Pia was eliminated so early. She was a major threat to their plan. They probably offered her a record deal just to step off and made it look like America voted her off.
And for the same reasons, they are running Haley over with the bus, hoping that their comments will become the truth in Americas eyes. Haley really is the best talent on the show right now, and they are trying to paint a picture of her being the worst hoping America is sheepish enough to have the wool pulled over their eyes.
Keep voting #HaleyReinhart America! Don't be a sheep!

Billy Z
Billy Z

No Doubt There Seems To Be Some Funny Business With The Judging And The Comments They Put Out.There Is Always That Spin That Randy Takes On Haley's Songs That Simply Ignores The Fact That She Gives Great Performances.
If Randy Had Belittled "House Of The Rising Sun" He Would Have Been Stoned. LOL
RickeyI Have Been Backing Haley Since Day One, And She Is The Most Polished And Exciting Performer By A Country Mile,
You Know It, I Know It And All The Judges Know It.
Thank God The Voters Have The Final Say (Unless They Steal It From Haley)

takakupo
takakupo

I think that it's pretty obvious; this should be Randy Jackson's LAST season on American Idol as a judge. I think it would have been smarter to use him as a Jimmy Iovine as opposed to a Simon Cowell because Randy just isn't cutting it anymore. Can we get someone to grade the juges? I mean really.

At least when Steven speaks up, we all know to expect the words "Beautiful", or "I love you" from him. J. Lo is okay and has a real chance to step it up into the next season...but Randy? Time. to. GO!

Slinky
Slinky

Omg what a horrible disAster they made my ears bleed

Marie Ruffin
Marie Ruffin

@Mdj: Right. Remember Tyler said "we found the one?"

Karen
Karen

unfortunately, she's on the dial idol bottom. she is the last shred of creativity left. guess this is all about likeability - to win, you have to be have a very humble approach - her strut is turning women off

Karen
Karen

ALL THREE OF THEM NEED TO GO !! FORGET THE STAR POWER - GET THREE JIMMY IOVINE'S TO JUDGE.

Karen
Karen

All of them. Thank you !!

omg....I was starting to think that my $3,000 Pioneer Plasma was distorting
the sound. We literally cringed at James' first song. He sounded hideously
off key. But then the crowd (are they getting paid to scream?) and the
ludicrous praise from the "judges" BIZARRO WORLD

with Casey gone - there's no surprises

HALEY is decent but she ALWAYS sounds the same and I am getting bored

JAMES has WAY to HIGH an opinion of himself - mediocre at best

JACOB - all nasal sound iS putrid

MCCHURCHY - mediocre at best

LAUREN - decent voice but no soul - just too young - although even with age I suspect she lacks the mental prowess to truly be great